Gillian Gilbride
There are no cocktails on the beach, no full-moon parties, and not a lot of food. This is not your typical Thailand vacation.
Instead of island-hopping between the tourist hot spots of Koh Samui and Phuket, I head off to Thailand’s Koh Chang Island for a six day detox and a 3.5-day fast.
Its 4pm. It’s the second day of my holiday. And I’m watching a video on how to attach a tube to a bucket, and attach it to the toilet. What I am doing here? And why did I sign up for this?
Where am I? I’m at the Koh Chang Spa Resort in Thailand.
Koh Chang Island
Koh Chang is a place where butterflies, yes actual butterflies, still flutter between flower buds. And at night their nocturnal friends, the moths, come out and flap against light bulbs in fanciful fits. See-though caterpillars with red backs, colourful geckos and super-sized ants scuttle along lily leaf creases and through bamboo cracks. The Spa Resort Koh Chang, occupying a prime spot of tropical forest on the island’s east coast, literally oozes nature.
Despite being larger than Phuket and Koh Samui, Koh Chang is yet to see scores of tourists spilling into its beachside inlets. This island ticks over at noticeably more tempered pace.
Judging by the handful of guests lazing by the pool, sipping coconuts and lying face down on massage mats, I gather that the chilled ambience of the island doesn’t neglect this small resort.
I too wind down so quickly, that in no time I’m noticing the minutiae of the reptilian world.
The luminescent geckos that scale the mangroves by day are lured indoors as the sun settles, and peek on diners from rafters in the roof.
One evening at the restaurant, as I slurp my watery vegetable broth, I watch such a gecko catch three gnats. Three gnats? That’s more solid food than I’m getting.
& its idyllic resort
The menu at the Spa Koh Chang Resort, gnat-free, was recognised as being one of the ‘Best 50 Restaurants’ in 2005 by UK Restaurant magazine. With vegetarian, seafood and raw- food dishes, the menu has me salivating.
The staff, though sweet and smiling, are not to be deceived. They know exactly which room each guest is in and exactly what food their fasting package allows for. When my hungry eyes extend to scan the vegetarian menu and spot my favourite Pad Thai, they are quick to interject and I am swiftly guided back to the ‘faster’s menu’.
I’m at the resort for six days however, and only due to start the 3.5 day fast on my second day. This thrillingly allows me a meal on my first evening. And my last supper is…a raw salad.
Served in a huge bowl, the ‘Spa Salad’ looks like a serving for a family of four. So I’m not disappointed and the salad is delicious.
The 3.5 day fast
The days leading up to the 3.5 day fast insist upon a light, raw food diet, along with a liver flush drink of blended garlic, ginger, pineapple juice, cayenne pepper and oil, to be taken twice daily. I start taking this concoction and cut out cooked food while still in Dubai. Preparing for the fast is important so I follow the resort’s guidelines and the only side-effect I experience is a two-day coffee-withdrawal headache.
Not since school have my days been dictated by such a regimented schedule. Haughty clocks are everywhere and I’m careful to have my pink schedule with me at all times.
There are bentonite clay detox shakes to be taken at 7am, 1pm and 7pm. Bentonite clay is a powerful detoxifying agent that absorbs toxins such as pesticides, pathogens and parasites from the gastrointestinal tract. The clay shakes are mixed with psyllium husk which, due to its laxative properties, helps remove the bentonite clay and the toxins from the body.
Every day at 7am the breakfast club of fasters can be seen grouping at the Colema Bar tree stumps to collectively gulp these shakes down. Not particularly palatable, these shakes have to be drunk quickly as the ingredients thicken.
The liver flush drinks continue and are taken at 8:30am and 4pm.
Lunch and dinner is vegetable broth soup. This mineral soup is a tasteless consommé of freshly brewed vegetables and spices which help replenish essential electrolytes in the body.
Snacks at 2:30pm and 5:30pm can be fresh carrot juice or coconut juice.
There is an hour and half allocated for the ominous ‘colema board’ (more about this soon).
And finally, there are the 20 supplements to be taken at five specific times during the day and one flora grow capsule to be taken before bed.
Phew, it’s no wonder I’m not the only guest walking around clutching that pink schedule as though it was the Holy Grail.
3.5 day fasters like me aren’t the only guests here. There are also the 7 day fasters, day-trippers and regular resort guests, all enjoying the resort facilities; the pool, the steam room, the lake and estuary, twice weekly trips to the beach, yoga and of course the spa treatments. .
My second home - the Spa
With a two hour, full-body Thai massage costing just 900 Baht (about 90 dhs), it is easy to justify a massage and facial daily.
The spa is set up in the open-air sala overlooking the lake and pool.
The melodic beat of a tree branch twisting against the spa’s banister plays each night. So too does the trickle of the lake’s fountain and the calls of Koh Chang’s birds as they return to nest. Lying on the massage mats in the cool dusk breeze and listening to this live orchestra and its crescendo at the tree tops is unmistakably bliss.
While at dusk I turn into a pampered princess, each day at about 3pm I turn into a tomato. Sweating out toxins, I emerge from the steam-room hut with a glowing red face, just in time for the ‘ampuku.’ These abdominal massages stimulate reflex points in the digestive tract and are an important precursor to the colema, which is scheduled directly afterwards.
With over 18 types of spa treatments to choose from it’s possible to indulge in something different every day. A task I don’t shy away from.
On the third day I ask for the cellulite treatment. ‘No need,’ the staff giggle. Flattered, but undeterred the next day I am up on the massage table with a heavy roller machine surveying my skin.
Out of the spa uniform and dressed in task appropriate T-shirt and shorts, the spa therapist is up on the table manoeuvring herself over and around me, slapping my thighs and buttocks. Though not painful, the sound of the slaps reverberates around the resort for a good twenty minutes.
Next I am wrapped in clear-film. Shrink wrapped from waist to thighs and, unable to bend my knees, I inch over to the next table and roll onto it as though I were stuffed into a sumo wrestling suit. Lined with towels and in what appears to be a heated sleeping bag, I am tucked in like a mummy and zipped up. Immobile for ten minutes and slowly heating up, I can’t help think this is probably one of the weirdest things I’ve ever done.
In truth though, the ‘colema’ is the weirdest thing I have ever done. On telling friends and family about my impending detox holiday I conveniently skimmed over the cleansing ‘ins and outs’, saving myself many awkward explanations.
The Colema Board....eek!
Here on day two though, at 4pm, the time has arrived. I am shown a video that depicts exactly how the curious apparatus left outside my room is to be used; two tubes, a tip, a bucket of coffee enema, lubricating gel and a large colema board.
The bucket of coffee is filled with warm water and hung on a hook in the bathroom.
The colema board is supported by the toilet seat and a purposely built wall.
The tubes connect and while lying on the board, 16 litres of warm water flush out the intestinal system. As the assembly and operation is left to the individual, it is a daunting task at first, but by day two I’ve got the hang of it.
Positive reassurances on printouts are posted on the walls reminding me of ‘what a great thing I’m doing for my body’ and how ‘I’m letting of go of what I no longer need.’ One printout even goes as far as suggesting I could ‘use this time to meditate.’
In tune with nature & the universe
All over Thailand fallen petals get picked up and placed in celebrated water-filled ceramic pots. These pots, sprouting plate-size lily leaves, are dotted around the resort and dutifully decorate the pathways to the pool, restaurant and yoga sala.
Cross-legged and smiling, I am guided in mediation by Luca each morning and start the day conducting feelings of peace and gratitude. The gentle exercises of yoga follow which further release toxins and clear blockages in the lymphatic system. The ‘Love mudra’ stretches out the last of our limbs at the session’s close and we all send unconditional love to each other and the world.
Ending the detox
The detox process is not without its side effects. On one day I feel fatigued, my muscles ache, joints hurt; I feel weepy and even miss a yoga session. Rich Anderson in his book Cleanse& Purify Thyself describes this as a normal ‘cleansing reaction’.
Anderson also says that “purifying the body helps purify the mind, because consciousness, in the form of memory, is often stored in the proteins of our bodies.”
I do feel a strong connection between the overall physical detoxification process and my own emotional release. I shed many old beliefs about myself that no longer serve true.
On my last day I order to go, the ‘Spa Salad’, a fruit salad and raw vegetable spring rolls.
As the carts wheels down the cabin, I produce this assortment to eat in lieu of the airplane meal. The man sitting next to me looks over with raised eyebrows. ‘This is Thailand food,’ he says.
‘Yes, Thailand food is the best.’ I reply.
Eating raw for 10 days did wonders for my skin, my mind, my digestion and my waistline, (I lost 2 kilos). I ended the week feeling more connected, more energetic and more clear-minded than I had, possibly ever, and I’m already planning the next 7 day detox.
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